Auto-Sear

I try not to judge too hard the way people are and what they do. But. I think drinking Celsius truly is a sign of moral turpitude. There’s just no God damned way that each iterative version of energy drink is better than the last. Take me, for example. I drink Red Bull. Sugar Free Red Bull no less; arguably the worst-tasting beverage on Planet E. This sort of brand loyalty, I think we can all agree, is a sign of strong personal character. Anyway today I was buying a blender at the dollar store for work, and a shirtless homeless man asked if I could add on a Ferrero Rocher, for him. No problem brother. Life sure does come full circle sometimes. When I was a kid, I was convinced FR were only and exclusively for rich people. To the extent that- I didn’t think they could even be gifted to poor people. I assumed, with serene complacence, that I unfortunately would never myself indulge in a FR. I’m assuming it was the gold wrapper. Anyway what I don’t realize during this act of magnanimity is that I’ve got to expense this blender that I’m purchasing and now the receipt has one inexplicable FR on it. And even if I could explain the situation thoroughly enough to be compensated, I’ll have to live with the lingering anxiety that the entire accounting department sniggers at me, the hedonistic little chocoholic who couldn’t forego his princely little treat during a short business transaction. Would I pay $59.99USD to have that not be the case? Anyway on the train and I’m reading the New Yorker and in the New Yorker there’s an article about fringe right wing incels infiltrating mainstream Republican politics and the adjacent picture is a black-and-white photo of 8 of the most fuckfaced little prepubescent shits you’ve ever laid your eyes on all together in one room. I’m not gonna read this article. Bar the doors from the outside and light the place on fire, I say.